Facebook Jesus Quiz

These facebook quizzes are getting out of hand. My facebook newsfeed recently informed me of the following: "Stefanie took the What Does Jesus Think of You? quiz and the result is Jesus thinks you're a Jew." What the hell does that mean?
As someone who is very likely one-quarter Jewish and married to a Jewish woman, I must say that I am thoroughly...confused. Maybe offended? Nah, probably just constipated. But, seriously, wtf? Jesus was a Jew. Do these quiz results mean that Jesus thinks you're cool and one of his homies? Or is he gettin' all up in yo grill Mel Gibson-style and pissed that you killed him? I never understood religion. Or those inane facebook quizzes.
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I feel your pain. And I'm pretty sure it's not very Jesus-like for Jesus to call anybody a "tool." Isn't that one of the 10 commandments? "Thou shalt not calleth facebook strangers tool."
Wow, Jesus is clearly very displeased with you. Unless you interpret the term "cunt" in a positive manner, which is not a bad idea. There are three things your comment made me think about: